


Talking To The Moon

by PastaPastry



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: (maybe once or twice but it's mostly internalized), Ableist Language, Alternate Universe - Siblings, Caboose & Niner siblings au, Caboose's POV, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, questionable parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 20:02:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14268504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastaPastry/pseuds/PastaPastry
Summary: Caboose didn’t talk about his family much. He talked about plenty of topics: his friends, Freckles, his opinion on strawberry ice cream, the occasional ramble about seemingly meaningless things, and a lot of other stuff, but never family.---Caboose wants to share his memories and healing with Carolina, and he made a whole plan to achieve this.





	Talking To The Moon

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published work on ao3! I hope you enjoy it : )  
> I did not create this siblings headcanon! That credit goes to thegoodluckdetective. This is simply my own take on that!  
> ( http://goodluckdetective.tumblr.com/post/120158641190/hello-red-verses-blue-fandom-i-am-going-to )

Caboose didn’t talk about his family much. He talked about plenty of topics: his friends, Freckles, his opinion on strawberry ice cream, the occasional ramble about seemingly meaningless things, and a lot of other stuff, but never family. 

 

Once, he told his teammate that he had seventeen sisters, but they hadn’t thought much of it, so Caboose hadn’t brought it up again. Why bring up something that only goes ignored? 

 

He hadn’t even brought up his missing sister, or how he used to write letters to her, hoping she would read them, not understanding who “Mia” was, or why his mom hated her. He learned not to bring up his eldest sister, period. All it did was upset his mother or his other sisters. 

 

Bringing her up would hurt them. He didn’t want to hurt them; he didn’t want to be mean. His mother always said, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”, but he was grown now. He learned that, sometimes, you have to fill the silence. Sometimes, you have to be mean to feel better.

 

He wanted to talk about her. He had opened a door when he said goodbye to church, jokes aside, and the room behind that door held healing. When he said goodbye, it lifted something from his chest, but not everything. He had an idea on how to make that heavy rock on his chest break off and be lifted at least a bit more. 

 

He didn’t just want to talk about her, he needed to. This was his new objective. First step was finding a person to talk about her to. Anybody would work, but Caboose had a certain person set on his mind.

 

Even after Caboose had said goodbye, Carolina didn’t talk about Church, and anytime he was brought up, she’d leave the room. At first, he didn’t understand. They said goodbye! He understood that Church wouldn’t come back, and how it’ll end up ok anyways. Why couldn’t she see the same? 

 

Now, Caboose sees that she has the same rock on her chest. She just needs to talk, and Caboose does too. First step was got and done! He took out his notepad and erasable pen, and he checked it off. He used to do this in his head, but after seeing Simmons do this and realizing just how much fun he had been missing out on, Caboose just  _ had _ to do it for himself.

 

He had gotten so excited thinking about his list that he had forgotten what was on said list. He stopped pacing to look down. 

 

Oh! Of course, number two was finding said talking buddy. He started walking before realizing that he didn’t know where he was going. They had gone on a quick visit back to Chorus for a reason outside of Caboose’s knowledge, and Caboose had already gotten lost. 

 

By now, Church would be on his hide, saying how this was just like him and how- 

 

No. He’s gone. That is ok. That is a Then thought, we need Now. 

 

Now is about Caboose and Carolina and healing and his sister. Caboose remembers where Simmons is, most likely checking off his checklist in the weapons place, and that’s a start. He turns left.

 

Simmons is right where Caboose thought he would be. That is good. He already had to detour off his list to find him; Caboose didn’t want to change it more than he had to. Simmons looked up from his checklist to look at Caboose. Simmons must’ve not participated during Caboose’s suggested Designated Nap Time, because he looked very tired. 

 

He felt the urge to give him a big hug, but that is not why Caboose came here. Caboose came here to ask for directions to Caro-Car-his talking buddy. He needed to work on his names. 

 

Caboose must’ve taken a while to start talking because Simmons begins to talk first. There is sighing and then there is, “What are you here for, Caboose?”

 

Caboose knows how to answer that! “Ah! Yes, I am looking for Cargleblina!” 

 

Great job, Caboose, says Church. You really nailed that one. Except, he didn’t. Caboose does not appreciate the sarcasm, and he continues, “Do you know where she is?” 

 

Simmons had printed out a map, highlighted a path for him in Sister Yellow, told Caboose it would take him to Agent Carolina, and Caboose had thanked him. He waved goodbye before going fast in the direction of his map. 

 

Caboose is very much excited for the next step in his plan: talking about her, but he lets his body go on autopilot mode while having his mind wander to fonder memories. He needs to prepare for what he will say, of course.

 

His eldest sister was always the one closest to him. Don’t get him wrong! He loved them all, yet he was always with Her. His family was big, and most of his sisters had been born in sets of twins or more, except him and Andy. 

 

Not Andy the bomb! Although, that may have been why Caboose grew so attached the explosive fellow. 

 

No, he meant Andromeda, named after the stars and their father, Ander, as Michael was to their mother, Michelle. See, after they had the Singular Sister, Dad really wanted a boy to raise. 

 

They didn’t get one for the longest time, but Michael did come! All by himself, he got along well with his sisters, he played Band with Lily, Andy, and Rose, learned machines with his dad while Rowan tagged along, and he stargazed with Andy, looking up at the Earth and the stars while chatting about whatever came to their minds.

 

He was seven when she told him she was leaving, and not much older when the message from Mia came that tore up his mom’s heart, but it wasn’t all bad. She told him that she would fly through space and help others during her adventures. Caboose likes to believe that she did really do all that, wherever she is. 

 

They had been stargazing at the time, and even though he was very tiny back then, he is stronger and bigger now, and he has held onto this memory with all his might. He won’t let himself forget. 

 

He won’t let himself loose the memory of her freckles, far more noticeable than his own, dotting around her nose and face. He remembers that in Freckles, his new friend. 

 

He won’t let himself forget her sarcastic attitude, the same aspect that he can find in his Now friends from time to time. 

 

He refuses to let go of her, and he knows Carolina may be the same with Church, even if she doesn’t notice it as well as he does. He is very good at noticing things. 

 

He is interrupted from his thoughts by Tucker being right in his way. Stupid Tucker. He doesn’t even know not to get out of the path of a thinking person. Everybody knows that! 

 

Caboose remembers his when he didn’t know this, when he would play with his toy cars in the hall where his dad would think his hardest, when his dad fell over him and got upset because he was in the path of a thinking person, how She had hugged him and explained the Rules, but back then Caboose was little.

 

Tucker is big, he should know by now. “Stupid Tucker,” he says, out loud this time.

 

“Yeah, whatever, Caboose” and Tucker laughs.

 

Huh. Tucker may not know everything yet, but Caboose doesn’t want to yell at him. Tucker sticks up for him, like when off-brand, Liar-Church made fun of him. Just like She had when Michael hadn’t learned yet. He decides to smile before getting up, and he gets back on course.

 

He’s nearly there, and he is excited again. He can’t wait for the good, light, lifting feeling to happen again, and he cannot wait for Agent Coraline to feel it too. He turns right, and almost bumps right into her. She looks surprised. 

 

“Oh. Hi, Caboose,” Caroline says, before moving back in forth, almost trying to stretch past him. He needs to talk to her.

“Hi Carolina! I want to talk to you about something very important!” He says that a bit too loud, and her eyes go into the Surprised eye look. 

 

Oh no; that is not what she is supposed to do. She is supposed to say yes, then he’ll talk about Andy, and she will talk about Church, and then they will both feel better and his objective will have been completed! Hurrays all around, but she did it wrong. 

 

“Caboose, I don’t-” she sighs before continuing, “Look. I need to go train, could you maybe, possibly make it quick?” 

 

He knows that won’t be the case, and he needs her to know that as well. “I’m sorry, Miss Caroline, but it is very urgent.” Her brows get all serious, and her eyes change into Concern. Caboose is very good at the face game.

 

“What is it?” She begins to tap her foot, and while Caboose agrees, tapping is good, he needs to move the list along in order to get to the good times.

 

“It’s about Church-” and there flashes her Surprised face again before settling back into Concern. “I need to- No. We both need to talk about the bad so we can feel good. I have a whole plan!” She raises her eyebrow at this. Her face is very interesting, and the faces she makes are almost, but not quite, as funny as Simmons’, but Caboose knows his own are best. Caboose’s are practiced and perfected to make his sisters react Best in return. She must agree, because she nods her head and lets Caboose by, before following him back into her room.

 

Caboose sits down on the ground before she has even fully gone through the doorway. He sits in his favorite position: criss-cross applesauce, but with both his legs folded on top. Andy had been the sister who had shown him this originally, and normally, that thought would make him sad. Not anymore. Caboose is determined to remember her, but be happy about it. He wants Carolina to do the same. He pats the ground next to him. It isn’t very comfortable, but there’s something about the cold, concrete, floor that he has grown accustomed to.

 

She cautiously does the same, or close enough. She looks at Caboose in an interested way, like she doesn’t quite get why he wants to do this. That doesn’t matter though. They’ll get there soon enough. 

 

Caboose wants to start. He wants her to feel comfortable enough to talk. Talking can be scary, especially if you don’t typically do so about feelings. Especially if you usually just tire yourself out with training before you can dwell on them. 

 

“I want to talk about my family,” he says, matter of factly, because he hadn’t quite started it right before. Carolina blinks. 

 

“I thought you were going to talk about Ch-” but Caboose shushes her quickly, because he already got this far. No more delaying.

 

“I want to talk about my sisters. I wanna say words about them because I haven’t done it nearly as much as I should.” She stays quiet this time. Good; she must realize that it is important for the both of them. 

 

“My youngest older sister? Her name was- is Stacy, and she was only the youngest-older by a few minutes. She loved playing pretend kitchen, and would sometimes interrupt Joey- she is the eighth oldest- Joey’s actual cooking time. Her twin sister, my second youngest older sister, is Sarah. She- she loved growing fruits and veggies, even if they tasted like, super gross. Then there were also Mackie and Milly, and they were in the middle and always made the best pranks. They never hurt anybody, but they were fun. Oh my god, I have too many of them. So many sisters,” and at this point Carolina is still nodding along and paying attention, and that alone almost makes Michael cry.

 

“I haven’t even- I haven’t even gotten to the one I did this for!” Caboose is too loud, and he’d usually get cross with himself for this, but this time? He just doesn’t care. Carolina needs to know. Everyone deserves to know about his first best friend before they even begin to think of Church, no matter how bittersweet it is. 

 

“She- she!” And before he can even get the words out, Carolina is hugging him. Tears roll down his cheeks, and that is perfectly ok. She is whispering words that feel far away, but they calm him. He gets calm for her. She needs this too. He wants her to have the opportunity to feel this. Not the rain, falling from his eyes, but the rainbow that comes after. He sniffs before pushing away and continuing. 

 

“Her name was Andy, and she was my first best friend. Everybody else was in buddies, but- but she wasn’t, and neither was I! So, we became our own buddies. She had already mostly grown, so she was able to teach me all sorts of stuff. Like, how to tie your shoelaces in the best way, where and where not to play, and my favorite, backwards meanings. Where you say one thing, but you actually meant to say another. Church did this a lot! So did Andy! It is familiar and nice. She always knew the best thing to say, and she always wanted to see the stars. We would play spaceships, and she would always be the pilot. I think she is doing that now, don’t you, Carolina?”

 

She seems surprised for the focus to be back on her. Her face goes from fond to puzzled, and then, “Yeah. I think so too, Caboose. I used to know someone like her, quick witted and flying fast. Maybe they’re flying together.”

 

Caboose nods before smiling big. “What?” Carolina twists her body from where she had begun to lay down, or as close to laying down she could do consciously. 

 

“Do you have anything to share with the class, Caboose?” and that makes Caboose laugh. He likes this Carolina. She is a lot less scary than she used to be. 

 

“Now that I have poured my eyes and words, do you think you could do that too? It made me feel a whole lot better!” Carolina stiffens at that, and she looks to the side and opens her mouth before Caboose adds, “You don’t have to!” 

 

Carolina sighs and starts, “No, no. I want to. I don’t-? I don’t think I know where to start.” 

 

Caboose tilts his head and asks, “What do you want to say? What do you want?” 

 

She pauses. “I don’t know, Caboose,” Carolina answers, before sighing again. She does that a lot. “I just want a break from it all. I don’t want to keep chasing ghosts of my past.” 

 

He nods. “That is very tiring. What are you even supposed to do when you catch them? Your arms go right through. And besides, Simmons said on Scary Planet that ghost aren’t real, so.” She does a quiet laugh where she looks down, and Caboose silently wishes that she would do it louder. 

 

“I know what I want,” Caboose says, and that makes her look back up. “I want to remember. I want to remember, but I don’t want to hold on too tightly and hurt myself, like when I was small on the moon and wouldn’t let go of the monkey bars because I was afraid of falling. I was too afraid to see that I was making my hands hurt. When I did let go, it stung for a bit, yes! But! Then my hands were stronger, and I wasn’t scared anymore! Carolina, I do not want to be scared anymore. I do not want you to be scared either.”

 

Carolina looks sad in her eyes, but happy in the rest of her face. He wishes she wouldn’t do that. It might show how she feels more closely, but it was very confusing, even to a pro face person like himself. Her eyes are getting all wet, and they hug again. She does a sad laugh, “Thank you, Caboose. I had no idea you could be so wise.” 

 

She sits up, and looks at his face. She examines his too-long hair, pulled back by a blue clip and a small ponytail. Maybe she wonders who would cut it now, since, way back when, Church had been the one to cut it. She shouldn’t worry too hard; Grif is very good at cutting hair. Kai had told Caboose back in Blood Canyon, and he has been doing that for Church since Tangle Place. 

 

Carolina smiles, and then asks a weird question. 

 

“What was Andy’s full name?” Caboose knows this! He likes it when he knows the answer. 

 

“Oh! Her name is Andromeda,” and Carolina does not seem completely happy with his answer. 

 

“Hmm. It might be just a coincidence, but…” She trails off. Caboose is confused.

 

“No, no. I never knew anyone else with the last name ‘Caboose’” She finally decides, and Caboose is itched. He doesn’t want to be a bother, but this time it seems very important. 

 

“Ah, yeahh. About that.”

 

Carolina is alert again, and he continues, “That is- That is not my name?” 

 

Carolina looks confused, “That shouldn’t be a question.” 

 

Caboose’s mouth forms a line. “Ah, uh. Well, it might have been a mistake? In the forms, because when I got to Blood Valley-” 

 

“Blood Gulch?” 

 

“-yeah, Church and Tucker were calling me Caboose. I thought it was a new nickname! But they also said ‘Rookie’, and I do not think I had two nicknames. And! And when I tried to correct them, it didn’t stick, but instead it stuck to Mean Doc, and maybe they thought that was his name? I do not know, but! My new name is not bad! So it is ok.” 

 

Now, Carolina seems on the edge of her non-existent seat. He had not thought it was  _ that _ important. She begins, “So, that would mean your name is actually Michael O’Malley?-” 

 

“Yup!” 

 

“-and that would mean her name was-” 

 

“Andy O’Malley! Come  _ on _ , Carolina! You are taking a long time to talk. It is not  _ that _ complicated.” 

 

She closes her eyes. She opens them again, and they look, different? If that is even possible. The yellowy-green darkens a little, and she speaks again. “I- I do know that name.” 

 

Now it is Caboose’s turn to make the Surprised Face. 

 

“Awhile back, when going on routine missions to retrieve old freelancer tech, I came across a database. It held information, not only about former freelancers and their statuses, but also others who worked in the project. I remember thinking of a certain pilot, the one I mentioned before, and checking,” she looks at Caboose, maybe to see if he was following, which he was, or maybe for another reason, and then she goes on. 

 

“I couldn’t find her at first, and that’s when I realized, ‘I never knew her name’.” 

 

Now Carolina’s eyes are sad again. Caboose rests a hand on her shoulder, and she smiles to him, eyes still sad. “All of a sudden, I was determined to find her, if anything, to at least know her name. I searched and searched, and then- then I found her. Andromeda, codename 479, O’Malley.” Caboose gasps, his hand gripping her shoulder in excitement. 

 

“You knew her? Oh my god! We have even more than I thought we had to talk about! Oh, you have so many stories to tell me about her adventures! I am so happy that she did go on those.” 

 

Carolina laughs again, louder this time. 

 

“I promise,” She pauses, and Caboose sees her look at her alarm clock. He gasps, “Oh no!! It is so very late.” 

 

In his escapade, he forgot to check the time! He hadn’t even completed his favorite part of the list! 

 

He quickly pulls out a- a walkman? He takes a walkman and a CD, carefully labeled  **_“FROM ANDY”_ ** , out from his cargo-shorts’ pockets as Carolina is trying to talk to him. 

 

“Caboose- er, Michael, it is late, maybe you should go back to your buu _ HOLY HELL, _ IS THAT A WALKMAN?” 

 

Caboose smiles, and plays his cd. Music begins to play from old headphones turned up too high as Carolina voices her thoughts aloud. 

 

“I had only ever  _ heard _ of these- it  _ must _ be ancient! Why haven’t you just switched to digital like everyone else had  _ centuries _ ago?!”

 

Caboose only scoots forward, pats the ground in front of him, and says, “Heirloom! Braid?”

 

Carolina smiles. Her smile is pretty.  _ I don’t know what to say, oh not another word.  _ Carolina moves to where he had pat, and he gets to work, not pulling too hard, and she falls asleep.

 

That morning, she wakes up in her bunk, fully tucked in, with a sheet of ripped notepad paper taped to her alarm clock.

 

_ Thank YOu _

_ frOM: MikeY “cabOse” O’MalleY _

_ PS: yOu bettr keep yOur prOMiss : ) _

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the walkman-"mixtape" 'Boose plays: https://open.spotify.com/user/pastapastry454/playlist/3lnQ8YVbc5tYJaBzAkGn4a?si=-Crvg7RHS1m0d9AttFWQ9g
> 
> Fun fact! if you start it when Michael does, the song plays the lyric that is in italics (maybe not, changes based on reading speed)
> 
>  
> 
> PS: fantastic art of this fic is here: https://dannidoodle.tumblr.com/post/172769728872/caboose-and-carolina-hugs-a-drawing-to-pair-with (I have not figured out how to hyperlink here yet, sorry for any inconveniences)


End file.
